St George's Day once more...23rd April 2014. Your birthday.

Matt's "selfie", before selfies were invented! 

2005

 This year, Matt, I wasn't going to write anything on your birthday...........but here I am once more. It's the eve of your day, 22nd April 2014.
It would have been your 38th birthday in the morning.......... at 4.40a.m. How well I remember that exact time on the day you were born!
     Such excitement....

Now it is hard to find any new photos of you in the albums and boxes. They stopped after September 10th 2006.

But it's good to see your smiling face........however many times I look for you amongst the souvenirs.

What to say?
What to write that hasn't already been written?

And yet, in the depths of my heart I have an overwhelming need to hold those memories of you so tightly.

Tomorrow approaches once more........inexorably.............

I peep into it.............

The night will gradually fade,
The blackbirds will sing at dawn,
The day beginning,
The flag of St George flying on churches,
Cherry trees in blossom,
Spring freshness,
Sudden showers,
Bright sunlight splashes,
The beauty of finding the first carpet of bluebells under a canopy of trees,
Wide vast skies,
A myriad, myriad of things................
But
There is no you.
We have to remember your birthday without you..............
There is no escape
Just a gaping hole
An empty space
The silence
No presence.

Love you Matt. Now and always.
Mum xxx