You may ask why did I decide to publish my "private" blog.
Over the past two and a half years, I have come across several people who have talked to us about publishing our other blogs, as they have found them helpful. Helpful in the sense that it either
a) gave them some insight into grief, or
b) gave them a sense of identifying with mine and Stephen's experiences of grief since Matt and Chris died.
It is Matt's birthday tomorrow, and here today, the sense of "rawness" is not as great, and we remember him more with love and affection rather than the gut wrenching pain which usually took over.
The last two birthday's were quite stressful, as last year we were collecting our stolen car from the police, having been burgled two weeks earlier, and the year before, I received a phone call the day after to say that my dad was in hospital and a friend of ours had died suddenly, in Lancashire. So I was back on the M6 and also went to a funeral as well as visiting dad in hospital.
I was away from home again for two weeks, at a time when I needed the security and familiarity of it.
This week has been absolutely glorious for weather. just what Matt would've so enjoyed.... and the skies are blue, the birds in song, the cherry trees heavy with hanging blossom, and trees in new green lushness. Tomorrow, there will only be the two of us, Alan now married and living away, and Heidi living up North, and working there. We are going to Stratford! As Matt shared his birthday with William Shakespeare, of whom we are great fans.There is to be a birthday parade! So we can silently pay homage to our son as it passes by..............
Happy Birthday Matt, until we meet again. x