March 18th Mothering Sunday 2012

                                              Remembering you on Mothering Sunday

Matthew and me Isle of Wight September 1977

 Here I am again, Matt. It's Mothering Sunday tomorrow, and once more we will remember you especially. Your brother and his wife will be celebrating their first Mothering Sunday, and with joy for their baby son who is now 5 months old. I do not place their photos here, to protect their privacy, and I love them very much, and will be thinking of them tomorrow too, as they live away.

I still have two sons. 

Only you are with your Heavenly Father.In my prayers I ask Him to take care of you each and every day. The Father you loved and followed.          

Our grandson's feet.  

Matthew 2006

Yesterday, the familiar gut wrenching, splintering of my heart, welled up inside and spilled over into tears, that I cannot see you or talk to you, for the rest of my earthly life, however long that will  be. It's Mothering Sunday. The cards have been in the shops for ages, the pubs and restaurants advertise their "Celebrate Mother's Day" meals, (at exhorbitant prices!) And I am faced with your loss as your mum, the child to whom I gave birth in April 1976, who was part of our lives for 30 years.      

Matthew in his garden. 2006  

So, I still have two sons, that I love very deeply.
So today, I will take "time out" in the garden, where the yellow of the forsythia is a splash of brightness, the daffodils are out, and the buds are fattening on the trees and shrubs. I'll plant the first of the sunflower seeds, the poppies and nasturtiums. And breathe again, hearing an echo of your voice where your presence used to be.
Love you, miss you,
Your mumxx