| Stephen. Summit of La Chapelle St Jacques.|
Cavaillon, Provence France.
9th September 2012
Your dad and I are in South West France. Tomorrow we are going to the old Cathedral here to light two candles. One for you and one for Chris.
We don't know how we will feel, except that already today, we know we are going to have to face the inevitability of another anniversary of that tragic night 6 years ago.
We have talked of you often during the two weeks that we have been working our way from North to South West arriving in Provence 5 days ago.
You would love the sunshine, the heat and the blue, blue skies...........
But there is one thing I know that will never ever change,
Wherever I am in this world, you are not.
Whenever I long to talk to you, there will be no reply.
Whenever I long to see you, your absence is profound.
To hear you say, "I love you mum" when I desperately, desperately need to know, and cannot.
To feel your arms enfold me, when they never will again
To have those discussions that spiralled up and went nowhere as we disagreed!
Yes, Matt, even that!
We who love you always and forever, walked into a parallel world the night you left, and walk in it still. A world that forever changed and altered.
A world in which we walk without you, and wish you were here every day.
A world where other people's loss touches us more deeply.
Because we loved you so much, our hearts were shattered, and although we have to go on, we will forever bear the scars which hold the shattered pieces together.
A mark of the depth of our love for you.
So, Matt, until we meet again, we hold on to the memories of you, and walk on.............