Return to the Lizard, Cornwall. October 2011.

Footprints in the sand

I came down to the Lizard a few days ago, to spend some time on my own in the place I love so well. The place we all used to stay as a family, along with your grandad, year in year out, and where we had such happy times. I saw my new grandson last week, your nephew, and it was a wonderful experience. I am going to love being a granny! I have spent the days in quiet reflection each morning, and the afternoons walking the cliff paths, and along the empty beach at Polurrian. I can hear echoes of your voice mingled with that of grandad and the others and it makes me smile. We will never lose you, Matt, you are forever with us.  And on days like today, walking along the beach, for once, I remember you without the sense of loss.                  

Polurrian Cove. 

Letter to Matthew

Timelord and Teapot Sutton Park September 2011The new grandparents! 

October 2011

Dear Matthew ,
On Wednesday 5th October 2011, your brother and his wife had their first baby. A boy.
He is called Samuel Robin. You would have like that.
All kinds of mixed emotions have been swirling round in me for weeks, surrounding this new addition to our family.
All mixed up with recollections of your birth, your brother's birth, and how we were so overjoyed to welcome our own children into the world.

I wish you were here to see your new nephew.

It is difficult to explain to others how it can be hard when we celebrate another important milestone without you. We are so very, very, happy and at the same time it highlights the empty space which you filled with your living presence.

A proud dad and his first son, Matthew. April 1976

Of course it makes us grandparents! Wow! And it is an amazing feeling!

Matthew holding his new brother.September 1984

Matt holding his 3 month old brother, December 1984 

We will go to see our new grandson soon, and I can't wait to hold him. A whole new chapter beginning, in a whole new life. So, Matt, I know you would've been a great uncle. And one day, when our grandson is grown, I expect his brother may tell him about you...................Love always Mumxx