Monday, 21 May 2012

Cornwall once more............

Dear Matt, On Saturday we are going to Cornwall once again, Having beaten a path to it's door for the last 20 years. Always going to the same timeless place. Mullion Cove, on the Lizard Peninsula. Our new grandson and his mum and dad are coming too. He was there with us last year, hidden to the world being carried within his mother. 
It is a place we all love so much. And it is the place where you rest, close to the sea, hidden in a rock. A secret place known only to us. Your grandad also loved it, and called it "Timeless".       

Mullion Cove 
 But you and grandad are no longer with us making our annual trek South. We miss you both, and will do what we always do thinking of you both. We will have a Cornish Cream Tea, so beloved of grandad, and will visit your rock, which we call "Matt's Rock". This we do separately, your dad and I on our own, and your brother and his wife on their own. Space to reflect and remember you.    
 The picture of the boat being launched was taken in 2004, which was the last holiday at Mullion that you shared with us. A glorious week! As you went with your wife to California in 2005, to meet your old friend, who was married by that time. So this picture has a significance of it's own. Another "last time you were with us" one.
Here is my dad, your grandad, on his last visit with us, your dad and I, in 2005, not being able to make it in the years to come due to his health, enjoying the last of the afternoon sun at Lizard Point, not far from where you are now hidden in a rock by the edge of the sea, where the lighthouse nearby throws it's beam into the darkness each night.
      And this morning, sorting through one or two things, I came across a letter I had written to you in 1993, which you had kept. You were staying at home whilst we were on holiday with grandad and your brother.
I quote from it now,
" Dear Matt,
We've had the most glorious week for weather. Day after day of unbroken sunshine and blue skies. You would love this corner of England. The scenery is superb. Mile after mile of unspoilt coastline with spectacular sea views and lovely coves and beaches..................
      Grandad says it's the best weather he's had since we went on holiday as a family to Torquay when I was 16 years old! ..............
Mullion is a typical Cornish village and has a good old-fashioned pub which does really first class lunches. We've sampled one there already!
We've been up the Lizard lighthouse and visited the Cornish Seal Sanctuary, which has wonderful views across the Helford River..................
Please water my plants before we get back........."

So as grandad said "It's timeless" and we are glad it is your resting place.  

Lots of love, forever, mumxx

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Greeting the dawn.............13th May 2012

 Sometimes Matthew, I waken very early in the morning, especially when the daylight hours are growing longer. The dawn chorus of the birds is reaching it's crescendo, reminding me of the day you were born that glorious late April 1976. I laid in my hospital bed as the day unfolded and there was a blackbird singing just outside the window. The beginning of a long, hot summer. I felt incredibly happy. Newborn son asleep.      
 But it's your dad I want to talk about today. He recently had an 11 week course to become a fully bona fide cricketing umpire.He went off yesterday to his first match, being his début and being supervised he, and I, (who would have been stressed let's face it!) decided he was better to go alone. Once he has found his feet I will be accompanying him.
As he donned his gear, I felt the old familiar tears well up. You would have been so proud of him. And no doubt would have gone to one or two of his matches. I thought about his own dad, whom you and your brother called  Grandad John, and his mum Granny Sellers, both cricketing afficianados. Indeed they took your dad to his first match when he was still a babe in arms, pushing his pram to the local ground! How pleased they would've been too.

Matt in the garden. 2002 
 So, once again, my memories were stirred and images of you so clear in my mind that I so wanted to be able to talk to you and share all the news. Inevitably, I woke early thinking of you and it was such a beautiful daybreak. I wandered up the garden at 4.15am, and took the photos. I always feel that God knew exactly what He was doing when he created that very first special garden. I find the reality of ours so comforting, and therapeutic. What a creation we have in all it's joyfulness!
I forever miss you, to a depth so profound I cannot see the end, and the enormity of the loss so vaste and wide, that it surrounds me. But we have the promise that creation will be redeemed, and oh what a day that will be! And what a hope we have in our own redemption! So in the midst of deep deep pain and loss, there can be joy.          
So
"You are the Lord
The Saviour of all
God of creation we praise you,
We sing the songs that awaken the dawn,
God of creation we praise you!"
Definately out!!
 Love you Matt, always.
So "Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away," may Jesus hold you close.
Dawn in the garden.